Nonviolent Intervention in Interpersonal Conflict: A Response I am hoping Robert Burrowes' article in the last issue of NvT will begin a discussion about how we can nonviolently intervene in everyday person-to-person violence. I am especially interested because as a feminist the sorts of violence I spend a lot of my activist energy trying to stop are happening around us, every day, in Australia (as well as around the world). The prevalence of violence against women both now and through history makes me think that this is a crucial place to work if we are to end all violence. I live in a house next door to a block of flats. My household hears and sees quite a lot of what goes on next door, and vice versa. The people next door are a family of mother, father and primary school age son and daughter. Sometimes the noises from next door are cheerful; but reasonably often they are angry and I feel uncomfortable and worried, unsure what to do. In the time I have lived here I've had plenty of chances to talk with the young ones, we're people who smile at each other. I say hello to their parents too when I see them. I originally began building these small relationships with the intention of being a friendly neighbour. I also want the young people and their mother to know that there is a friendly adult outside their family nearby in case they are ever in need of one. One night a while back the shouting next door was especially loud and the tone was especially angry and threatening. As it got louder I got more worried, so I went to the window which looks over their fence and listened. The words were overtly threatening. I was scared for the people inside, but the idea of doing something made my heart pound. I consulted my household. None of us were sure what to do but we were all tense. When I heard the son screaming at his dad to stop, I decided I was going to do something. I got closer to the fence and saw what looked like the boy hanging off his dad's back in an effort to stop him hitting someone, probably his mother. I couldn't think of anything especially appropriate to say but this wasn't the time to think it over at length, so I yelled out "is everyone all right in there?" The shouting continued. I thumped the iron fence as hard as I could while continuing to call out. Eventually things became quiet. I could hear crying and threats. My household had come out into the backyard too and were standing near me. I was trembling. The father came out. "What do you want?" he asked, clearly angry. "I just want to know if everyone is all right," I said. I didn't want to escalate the situation by accusing him of anything and I certainly didn't want to expose whoever he had been hitting to further danger. He began to challenge me: it was none of my business what happened in "his" house. I didn't argue but simply said I had wanted to make sure everyone was ok. He wanted to know whether I had any children, obviously assuming that I wouldn't know what it was like. I said that I did. He talked about how frustrating it can be when your child won't behave, giving the impression that he had been hitting his son. I didn't believe him. I didn't call him on it either. I agreed it could be very difficult but said I didn't think it was ever right to hurt the people we love. I was trying to make some contact with whatever part of him could remember that these were people he cared about, as well as keeping him talking to give the people inside some space and him some time to cool down. We carried on this conversation over the fence for a while, him yelling at me and me repeating the few things I had to say about wanting to be sure everyone was ok and people not deserving to be hit or hurt. Eventually he went back inside and told the rest of the family to keep quiet. A little while later there was a knock at the door, it was him. He'd come to apologise for being rude. He said he understood that children were everybody's business and that I had been right to intervene. I said no one really wants to hurt the people they love and they don't deserve to be hurt. That was the last we heard from next door that night. We discussed what had happened and all agreed that it had been right to intervene. None of us believed he had been hitting one of the children - awful as that would have been. It was easier to intervene having thought about doing it on other occasions. The presence of my household and the fact that the initial conversation happened over the fence, with a physical block between us also made it easier. I felt like I got some of my message across but I think mostly what he heard was "we are watching you!" That in itself is probably a good enough outcome. I felt that I had succeeded in putting him in a position where he felt he needed to justify his actions. I continue to say hello to all of them in the street or in the park, and I hope they all know that we are listening and won't accept violence in their household as being ok. Mary Heath