Emotions and AIDEX

My physical injuries from AIDEX '91 only took six weeks to heal (a police
boot in the ribs). I wonder about the other kinds of injury and whether other
activists realise the importance of healing these. One recent dark and
overcast morning I woke to realise that the song on the clock radio had been
incorporated into my dream.  In my dream the song was Elton John's haunting
eulogy for John Lennon, Empty Garden, being heard quietly in a empty forest,
and I woke with a strong feeling of sadness.  Knowing the value of these
opportunities from the subconscious for experiencing repressed grief, I told
my wife about it and asked in that half awake state where we can all still be
children, "Why do we always kill the good ones?".  I thought also of Martin
Luther King and Gandhi and had a little cry.  As often happens there was
anger mixed with the grief and it is good to experience this too.  I wanted
someone outside my self to blame.  But once these emotions had achieved their
catharsis I remembered that there is no-one outside my Self and I felt only
compassion for the sick and suffering cultural organism of which I am a part.

It is extremely important for emotions such as grief, anger, hatred and fear
to be experienced and worked through, but only in private or in a supportive
group.  I am deeply concerned that many well-meaning activists think that it
is desirable and effective to take these emotions all the way to their
engagement with the opposition in the front lines of the struggle, "Maintain
the rage" etc.  In fact if I were asked to describe the essential difference
between the purely tactical non(hyphen)violent direct action of the
International Socialists and others, and Gandhian or Sharpian nonviolent
struggle, this would be it.  A slogan for nonviolent activists might be "Act
not from Fear or Anger" or "Act, don't React".  

At the AIDEX '91 protests in Canberra last November, I watched what I believe
were protesters' unhealed emotional wounds erupting into verbal abuse (and
occasional minor physical abuse) of police and security guards and even other
protesters.  Surprisingly some of these were people who I knew had a
commitment to nonviolence. My disagreement with this behaviour is not one of
squeamishness but simply a deep understanding that this behaviour is not
effective in bringing about the desired changes. It merely polarises the
conflict and escalates the violence. Of course some protesters, particularly
socialists, have an agenda of escalating the violence, which they see as
"revealing the violence inherent in the system" (no apologies to Monty
Python), with the ultimate aim of violent revolution.  I also believe that
nonviolent protesters were receiving injuries from the police in revenge for
the abuse they had received from more aggressive protesters, who had called
their insults from a safe distance.

Few activists would even consider going back into a direct action with a
fractured rib.  Why do we keep going back with our emotional wounds unhealed?
Why is it so hard for some activists to accept that they need to heal
themselves using various emotional, psychological or spiritual practices so
that in a crisis they are more likely to act in a highly effective manner
with assertiveness rather than react from fear or anger. 

Are there still people in the world like John Lennon who can capture its
imagination and speak to it of how it might heal itself?  "We still have
Mother Theresa", my wife reminded me.  "Yes" I said, coming out of my grief,
"and the Dalai Lama".  In the following article the Dalai Lama explains some
of the reasons why anger is not effective and how we can develop the more
powerful, sustainable and controllable energy of compassion.  See also
Richard Gregg's The Power of Nonviolence. For practical help with emotional
healing for activists, see either of Joanna Macy's despairwork books.
Dave Keenan