Sexual Oppression?

Glen Ochre and Robert Burrowes (ANN Principles, NvT #45) correctly identified
the presence of unresolved issues and feelings around "patriarchy" and
"pro-feminism" that need to be worked out in the Australian Nonviolence
Network. 

There were some deep, knotty obstacles at the 1995 Gathering that got in the
way of thinking clearly about these issues (just as there were in 1994). I
was one of those who had a difficult time, and in the months since the
Gathering I've been thinking about why it is all so yukky. This article is
offered as some results of that thinking. Hopefully it will be part of a way
forward, to develop good thinking and prepare better for the discussion at
next year's Gathering.

Patriarchy and Women's Fear
The heavy structural violence systematically taking place against women and
children in Australia and other parts of the world is horrible and clearly
needs some priority attention. I am not blind or deaf, so I can see and hear
the suffering many women experience, and the terrible hurts they carry as a
result. 

I understand that for most of this violence, the immediate agent is a man. I
understand that "patriarchy" is a term coined by the women's movement(s) to
describe the system which gives rise to routine violence by men against women
and children. This violence is not simply physical and sexual, but includes
things like controlling more money, taking more space and time, and holding
more "power (over)".

I understand that the women's movement(s) have been organizing to overcome
this oppression, and the word "patriarchy" has been useful as an organizing
tool and shorthand to describe the problem. I also understand that the last
century's experience has been a cyclic one for the women's movement(s). Hard
work, suffering, persistence, gains - followed by social re-definitions,
wars, and backsliding.

Structural oppression is proving very, very difficult to overcome. It's no
wonder that women carry lots of fear with them. Fear of actual violence,
rape, injury, and death. Fear of marginalisation. Fear that the gains of the
seventies and eighties are presently being eroded. These fears are clearly
visible at the ANN Gatherings. What to do with them? 

I want to assure everyone from the start that nothing I am about to say is
intended to (or will) diminish or undermine in any way the priority need of
ending violence against women. It may not be orthodox within the Network, but
I am only asking people to think about it.

Men's Oppression, and Feeling Blamed.
What's your first feeling when you read "men's oppression"? Many
"pro-feminist" men deny such a thing is possible - then again, those men come
mostly from the middle class. Many women deny it too, but then again, they
are a different gender. A lot seems to depend on point of view.

The unfortunate reality is that most men (particularly working class men) are
oppressed. Why else would they give up leisure to spend their time doing
difficult, dirty and dangerous work that damages their physical, emotional
and mental health? How else could babies and little boys be brought to
believe they don't feel pain, and have no access to feelings other than
anger, fear, and lust? How could they be brought to join the army to be
brutalized and kill others or be killed? We have lots of fear too, for some
very good reasons.

Men are brought to this state by the very same forces that routinise violence
against women. Those forces are greed, ownership, competition, and power
over. They keep 1% of the human population owning most of the land, and they
promote environmental degradation because they are brutal, short-sighted, and
not well connected to the life force.

Now, one of the unfortunate side-effects of the word "patriarchy" if you try
and apply it to the whole system of oppression is that it refers to only one
gender, and locates the "cause" of the problem exclusively within that
gender. The word is easily and often used to blame all men (individually as
well as collectively) for all of the problem. It tends to leave out or
trivialize the pain and injuries inflicted on men by the oppressive society. 

This may not be the intent of those middle-class women who made up the word,
but the use of the word is so confused and poorly understood in our network
(let alone the wider society) that it happens quite a lot.

It's easy for women to feel that the term works for them, because all the
"fault" lies elsewhere, and their own behavior is "excused". There is a
certain purity in being "the most oppressed".

For men however, that term can amount to just one more load to bear. Not only
must we work and suffer from our own position in the oppressive society, we
must take the blame for others' pain and suffering. The realities of our
oppression and pain are diminished and disregarded. (Some men consent to this
load, I do not)

Now I know there's an issue about whether men really are blamed, or whether
they just feel that way. One response I have to that issue is to ask people
to use the word only if they are willing to explain what they mean by it.
That makes it easier for me to see through the fog.

But sometimes the feeling blamed syndrome will get in the way irrespective of
what is meant. Then it is very much like women's fears. How tough ought we be
in requiring people to clean up their act and be clear about something which
is attached to deep pain?

My strong feeling from the 1995 Gathering is that both Fears and Feelings of
Blame are getting in the way of progressing this issue in ANN. What can we do
about that?

Ending the "Competition of the Oppressed". 
One agreement I would like to make before the next Gathering is that people
give up the competition approach of "my oppression is worse than yours, and
therefore needs to be dealt with first". I feel like that is a sterile
debate, and a side-track from the question of how we best overcome oppression
altogether. 

Instead of a "pro-feminist" model, I'll propose a human liberation model
which goes something like this:-
We live in an oppressive society where the overwhelming majority of people
are hurt and brutalized into daily structures of competition, exploitation,
and isolation. 

Only a tiny percentage of humans "benefit" from this system of oppression,
and we are never likely to meet them in the ANN. They spend all their time in
villas and luxury accommodation well away from Commonground, or any of the
social circles ANN members move in.

It is not true to say that men as a group are 'privileged' by this system.
They are diminished by it as women are diminished by it. Children and the
planet in general are diminished by it too. 

To achieve the liberation of all people, we must conscientiously develop an
ever-growing movement which:
(i) encourages and assists all people to identify and heal the hurts which
they have suffered under the system of oppression. This will involve
counseling and support groups in a variety of ways.
(ii) resolutely interrupts any continuing oppression (externalized or
internalized) in any forum, both within and without the Network. (This means
for instance that men have to work on their sexism, women on their victim
feelings, everyone on their racism and classism etc.)
(iii) insists that each person is primarily responsible for taking charge of
their own liberation, and that all persons are to be treated with respect. No
blaming. No attacks. Lots of loving support.
(iv) builds positive alliances between different groups and classes in our
society(s), based on the free exchange of information and opinion. Encourage
everyone to try and "walk a mile in the others' shoes". No unchallengable
orthodoxy. Critical thinking to be welcomed.

Such a model recognizes, and responds to all forms of oppression including
racism, ageism, and classism as well as sexism. If we are to mention one of
those specifically in the ANN Principles, let's mention them all.
Bryan Law