Human Liberation vs Patriarchy

I read Bill Moyer's and Daniel Boase-Jelinek's articles on sexual oppression
with great interest, and appreciate their insights. In return I have a loving
challenge - for Bill, Danny, and anyone else who might be interested in
taking it up. 

Bill speaks with great force about the "hurts and oppression" exercised by
the Traditional Male Role (and the ways we European-type men are caught up in
that role). His call for men to work on our sexist behaviours is quite clear
and compelling. 

I too believe this work to be an indispensable part of our agenda. What I
don't agree is that it's alone at the top of that agenda. I believe it's
integral to four or five strands of the oppressive society that all need to
be transformed together (replacing material greed, racism, sexism, classism,
isolation/despair with loving/compassion, nurturing, living simply/close to
our Earth). 

Likwise Danny's illustration of how institutional conditions and cultural
conditioning lead to processes and outcomes that satisfy no-one, and how it's
these conditions in which we all participate that are to blame - not
individual men or women. Danny too talks about the traditional Male Role,
masculine values, and how hurtful they are. Give the pattern a name, call it
Patriarchy. If that's the basis on which it's to be done, then great, I agree
with that too.

The challenge now is to move on. How do we deal with the deep knotty
obstacles? How do we as men "get hold" and change the values that are secured
deep inside us? How do we summon up the energy to transform ourselves and our
world into one of harmony, love and justice? (I expect women to be asking
these questions of themselves too).

Bill suggests working together as men in the Network, perhaps even
workshopping together, and helping each other figure things out. I'm all for
that, and perhaps a space adjacent to the ANNual Gathering would be
appropriate. It takes quite a lot of time and effort to get network men from
around Australia in one time and place. Could we get two days together on say
April 22/23? More? Less? I'd be willing to help organise something. 

Danny's reiteration that we name something to gain power over it also has
merit.

Part of me says, oh well, what the heck, if it's only a badge for convenience
why hassle over it? Let's just call it Patriarchy and be done with it.
Another part of me says why choose a name which refers to one gender only,
when many genders are caught up in these oppressive behaviours? Is it useful
to simplify in this way? How much energy do we put into getting the name
"right"? How much do we put into moving the issue itself forward? 

Just naming the oppressive system in itself doesn't get us off the hook. We
need to act on transforming it. In order to act effectively we need to get a
real clear picture of how it works. In getting that picture we need to look
widely and notice everything. What parts are there to it? How do they
operate? This is the exploration I believe we need at the next Gathering. 

For instance, I am interested in how "victim behaviours" (men's and women's)
fit into the scheme(s) of oppression, how useful are they, and how are we
working to interrupt/transform them - in ourselves and in the wide world?
That's my interest. 

My loving challenge for all network participants and onlookers is to take a
fresh look at the human liberation model. Could your own needs be met within
that model? If they can't, what are they please? If they can, is this a model
you could work within? Would it be suitable for the Network?

You see, I have a real problem, and I need help to figure it out. I made a
life-long commitment sixteen years ago to grow away from the oppressive
society, and in a positive life-affirming direction. My upbringing had been
brutal and scary, as well as loving and beautiful.

I remember deciding early on in my adult life to give up on fear and hatred
as a way of achieving anything (not that these things go away entirely - they
just get less often and less threatening as one cultivates "stepping through
them" and learning how to deal with them). I decided to live as much love as
I could, be as honest as I could, live poor, and treat everyone equally (and
try to overcome my racism and sexism - of the two I find my racism much
harder to deal with, and very disturbing). I'm not perfect and don't ever
expect to be. It's still a lifelong commitment and I'm glad I made it.

As my life becomes more and more how I want it to be, I'm led to question
some of the liberation dogmas I took on board when I was just starting out. I
question various parts of feminism just as I question various parts of
nonviolenceism. 

One thing I've learned is that the ways in which men are hurt and oppressed
into our behaviours tend to be invisible in liberation circles. Yet the
disregard of men's hurts is a core Traditional Masculinist value. It is a leg
of patriarchy. It is how boys get socialised into believing that pain is a
natural state, both to suffer and inflict. Why do we still practise it so
persistantly in the Australian Nonviolence Network?

Bill appears to assume that by recognising men's hurts we somehow deny our
oppressive behaviours, and elevate(?) men to a victim status (equal to that
of women!), while excusing ourselves work on our oppressive behaviours. Not
so. Not so. 

My experience is that by coming to terms with how we have been hurt, and by
healing as best we can, we are able to act in more compassionate and
effective ways to overcome oppressive behaviours, both in ourselves and in
the wide world. The recognition of men's hurts just clears the deck for men's
positive action.

"The subjective experience of personal suffering is very real to many men,
and the way that this pain is explained - the stories that men tell
themselves about it - will largely determine the action they take in an
attempt to improve their lives... To deny male pain conflicts totally with
men's actual experience of themselves... validation of that experience is an
essential part of any attempt to get men to change... we need an
understanding of subjective masculine experience, one that places it firmly
in the context of gender inequality, domination and exploitation... It must
speak to men by acknowledging their pain, and not paint them into a corner of
inescapable and unrelieved male villainy" Dulwich Centre Newsletter, quoted
in Steve Golding "Men's Health and Ethics" XY Magazine, Summer 1995/96. 

My problem is that I didn't get any good discussion on these issues at the
last gathering. If I was alone in wanting the discussion, I'd happily stand
aside and let the Gathering get on with other things. But a lot of people
wanted discussion and movement. A lot of people have issues and strong
feelings around it. Those feelings mostly didn't get dealt with, and mostly
just got in the way.

I certainly have some strong feelings myself, and they got in the way too.
I'm willing to take responsibility for that, and for maintaining a positive
energy and direction during the next gathering. What I need is agreements
about how we can all support each other in dealing with this material, while
still having the discussion and forging the directions for Network movement
towards the desired social change.

How can we ensure a better process at the 1996 Gathering? 

I think the ideas generated by the women's Phone Link Up are generally
excellent, and reflected in the later mixed one. In particular that
discussion gets couched in terms of how we see things personally, our picture
of how the oppressive society works - and that we take some care to explain
what we mean when we use the word "patriarchy" (and I assume other
emotionally charged words like "power over", "nonviolence", "democracy",
"feelings" etc.)

I also like Bill Moyer's workshop idea, and would love a men's group prior to
the Gathering. I think I might go to the Sydney men's Festival in late
January.
Bryan Law


To achieve the liberation of all people (all species?) we must
conscientiously develop an ever-growing movement which: 

(i) Encourages and assists all people to identify and heal the hurts which
they have suffered under the system of oppression. This will involve
counselling and support groups in a variety of ways.

(ii) Resolutely interrupts any continung oppression (external or
internalised) in any circumstance, both within and without the Network. This
means for instance that men have to work on their sexism, women on their
victim behaviours, everyone on their racism and sexism etc).

(iii) Insists that each person is primarily responsible for taking charge of
their own liberation, and that all persons (beings?) are treated with
respect. No blaming. No attacks. Lots of loving, firm support.

(iv) Builds positive alliances between different groups and classes in our
society(s) based on the free exchange of information and opinion. Building
empathy, encouraging everyone to "walk a mile in the others' shoes". No
unchallengable orthodoxy. Critical thinking to be welcomed.